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  • Adopt-A-Terrorist

    A Canadian female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian
    government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents
    (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System
    facilities. She demanded a response to her correspondence.

    She received back the following reply:

    National Defense Headquarters
    M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg.,
    15 NT101 Colonel By Drive
    Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2

    Dear Concerned Citizen,

    Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of
    treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian
    Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government
    and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan
    National Correctional System facilities.

    Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions
    were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to
    learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are
    creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense,
    to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or
    L.A.R.K. for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new
    program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your
    personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is
    scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your
    residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you
    can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards
    you personally demanded in your letter of complaint!

    It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.
    We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of
    care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended
    in your letter. Although Ahmed is a psychopath and extremely violent,
    we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his
    'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws.
    Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural
    differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home

    Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat
    and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or
    nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
    skills at your next yoga group. Please advise any Jewish friends,
    neighbours or relatives about your house guest, as he might get
    agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He
    is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from
    common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked
    up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish
    to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he
    views females as a subhuman form of property thereby having no rights,
    including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly
    sensitive subject for him and he has also been known to show violent
    tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code
    that he will "recommend" as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will
    come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burkah over time. Just
    remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious
    beliefs' as described in your letter.

    Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like
    you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our
    fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching.

    Good luck and God bless you.


    Gordon O'Connor
    Minister of National Defense
    Last edited by Perry; 12-03-2012, 08:39 AM.

  • #2
    Yikes! What a letter.

    Was this a real letter? curious whether they'd actually send soemthing like that


    • #3
      Did she accept?

      Free business resources - www.BusinessBlogsHub.com


      • #4
        Who's to know? Maybe she's
        no longer alive and leftying?

        The parody is worth pondering,
        for all that. Do unto others . . . .?

        Possibly an anathema to the
        liberal left lot.


        • #5
          Under the LARK program, are Taliban detainees being housed with liberals who disagree with the government's treatment of prisoners kept at Guantanamo Bay?


          • #6
            According to the snopes website: "Status: False"


            • #7

              D'ya suppose that might explain why it's
              under the Forum Funnies category?


              • #8
                yeah i was the silly one!

                I just answered my question above (whether or not is was real)