You're Who?

[Perry]

Jacinda walks into a bank to cash a cheque. She approaches the cashier and says, "Good morning, Ms, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sister. Could you please show me your ID?"

Jacinda: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I'm Jacinda Ardern, leader of the Labour Party and Prime Minister of New Zealand!"

Cashier: "Yes sister, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I insist on seeing ID."

Jacinda: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I'm sorry, Ms Ardern, but those are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Jacinda: "Come on please, I'm urging you, please cash this cheque."

Cashier: "Look Ms Ardern, here's an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."

"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, Ms Ardern, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"

Jacinda stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank . . . there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Ms Ardern?"

[donna]

LOL very good Perry I'm waiting for the Boris Johnson jokes.

cheers,

Donna

[absoluteproperty]

Very very good one, though as someone that is near to her on a weekly basis I must say she can be a little more insistent.

Loving the honest Jacinda jokes, let's hear the Boris Johnson jokes after he has had the opportunity to succeed or fail. And had a chance to make his mark.

Theresa May jokes Perry?

[John the builder]

Cindy would have hugged the cashier to show solidarity with oppressed bankers and insisted on a statement of affirmative poverty action from the bank

[Perry]

You Jest?!

"Oppressed bankers?"

Whazzem?

[absoluteproperty]

"Oppressed bankers?"

Whazzem?

In a sleepy little village named New Zealand, far removed from the realities of the world, how easy would it be to remove the word bank from the service desk, replace it with "enterprise" and play around with who is holding the gun and who is carrying the bag?

The multitude of possibilities spark a rush of current events to my own thinking, and I do not even read the news here anymore.

[Perry]

We Have No REAL History.

It was a bit sobering - during a recent northern hemisphere excursion - to see some continental farm buildings which were constructed just 20 years after Abel Tasman happened upon NZ.

[Wayne]

It was a bit sobering - during a recent northern hemisphere excursion - to see some continental farm buildings which were constructed just 20 years after Abel Tasman happened upon NZ.

Agreed.
I was in England a month ago and we were talking history.
I mentioned the Treaty in 1840 - the building I was staying in was built 5 years earlier and was as good as gold.
We stayed in a small hotel in Delft that had been build in the 1600s.

[John the builder]

a case of paddys axe
the roof was replaced 6 times and the walls 4. the foundations......

[sidinz]

My first overseas foray, 20s, I went and saw a (then) 2300yr-old aqueduct. Blew my mind, given that the oldest building in my home town (Chch) was at the time 150 years old.

[SPerfect]

Good one - lol

[Perry]

Agreed.
I was in England a month ago and we were talking history. I mentioned the Treaty in 1840 - the building I was staying in was built 5 years earlier and was as good as gold. We stayed in a small hotel in Delft that had been built in the 1600s.

I walked around the Tower of London complex - built in 1078. Before the discovery of the Americas!

We spent a few hours in Delft and had a wee joyride in the canals - mostly desperately in need of some cleaning The cars parked by the canals with the driver's door opening directly on to a drop into the canal would not do for the NZ Safety Gestapo - that's for sure.

[Perry]

Satire

[brokerman]

Before coming to NZ in 06 my house in West Sussex, England was started in 1735. In true Kiwi style it was not finished until 1755

[Perry]

Two-faced Taxcindarella at play. Again.

Jacinda Ardern says New Zealanders are being ripped off over petrol
20 Aug 2019

Petrol tax
When you last bought petrol, 73.784 cents per litre was collected by the government (excluding GST). The GST added amounts to an extra 11 cents per litre "tax on a tax." [date uncertain - probably worse, now]

The Commical Commission's Report said that the level of taxes on fuel was "not a competition" matter, so not an issue for the commission.

Funny, that.