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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    Default Equity, How to Build Equity in Summer

    Hi Guys

    Couldn't wait for Forum funnies. This was too good to leave out.


    Classic Version:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
    he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come
    winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no
    food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    The Modern Australian Version:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
    he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
    winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a
    press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to
    be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and
    starving. The ABC and Channel 9 show up to provide live coverage of the
    shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his
    comfortable warm home with a table filled with food. Australians are
    stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
    allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Democrats, the
    Greens and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the
    ant's house. The ABC, interrupting an Aboriginal cultural festival
    special from North Queensland with breaking news, broadcasts them
    singing "We Shall Overcome." Bob Brown rants in an interview with Jana
    Wendt that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and
    calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
    share." In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the
    Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to
    the beginning of the summer. And the ALP quickly passes it through the
    Senate.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire
    grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and
    his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
    government. The ant moves to Asia, and starts a successful Agribiz
    company. The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing
    up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while
    the government owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's
    old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Kim Beazley is now appointed
    to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The
    grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Sydney Morning Herald
    blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root
    causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for
    enriching Australia's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize
    the community. Who says we don't live in a democracy?

    Thanks Chan$

    Regards


 

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