How to evict a relative

[Jilly]

Hi everyone,
I found a thread from last year that was very similar to my own situation. Some great advice was given so I'm hoping that some of you may be able to help me.

My brother is living in my mothers home. She was living there too until last year and he was supposedly caring for her and the property. Mum was uplifted by police as she was being neglected and the condition of the house was disgusting. Mum was diagnosed with Altzheimers disease and is now safely in care. I hold the EPOA along with another brother.

The problem is that the offending brother is still living in Mum's home. He isn't paying any rent and is not maintaining the property at all and its condition is getting worse. He drinks a lot and becomes aggressive and will not answer the phone and it has gotten to the point where myself and my other siblings don't want to go there at all because of his verbal abuse. We have sent him a letter asking him to pay rent or leave, giving him 6 weeks to reply. There was no reply and he wont answer his phone. We need to clean up the property and sell the house to help pay for Mum's care and the property expenses. I am currently paying for these myself.

I'm at a bit of a loss as what to do next. Mum's lawyer suggested they send a letter but I honestly don't think that would achieve anything. Should we send an eviction notice? Apply to family court? We need him out so we can sell. Any suggestions will be very very welcome.

[Bob Kane]

The RTA doesn't apply to family.
Kick him out - forcibly if you want.
Change the locks.
Do what you like.

[Keys]

Trespass him. Get the police involved.

[ripeka]

Trespass him. Get the police involved.

I don't know what the state of your relationship really is with your brother and whether you have good history and past relationship that you want to try and keep intact if possible, and whether you all live in the same town/city but are there possibly a few other steps to try first before the heavy action starts (I am a softie,lol). However, on re-reading your post that your mum had to be uplifted by the Police, it doesn't seem likely this is going to end nicely:

1. First: Is there anything in the house that you want eg family photos, heirlooms, sentimental stuff? If so, is there a way to go over and get those few things before the heavy legal action starts in case he decides to destroy stuff out of spite? Do you have a key? Does offending brother work i.e. can you go in when he is at work and get that stuff?

2. Also check the current insurance situation so the insurance company knows your mum is no longer living there and that your brother still is. Insurance companies want to know everything these days.

3. Send the letter from the lawyer advising him of his illegal status and outlining what's required and what will be happening - this may be the wakeup call he needs to get him moving - it's always easier to just to ignore your siblings. Given that you have already given him 6 weeks though, and urgently need the money for the resthome care, I would be asking for a very short-time frame to get a response back from him eg 7 days. I wouldn't expect the letter to "do" anything but at least you know you have given your brother every opportunity to avoid what is about to happen.

6. Get the Trespass Order and evict with police support. Tbh, it seems likely this is the route you will be going down.

btw - what happens to the brother's belongings in the eviction process? are they dumped on the front lawn, put out on the road, taken to the dump or what?

[Wayne]

Trespass him. Get the police involved.

The only option I think.
If you have EPOA then you have authority to do this.

[SimonW]

I really wish you luck with this. I have been EPOA before and was just lucky that all my siblings were onboard and working together for the common goal.

As others have said, the legal letter followed up by Police actioning a trespass notice may be your only option. As far as I know there are no squatters rights in New Zealand so he cannot drag out that old chestnut. Essentially he was allowed to stay by the grace of your mother. You are now her voice and representative, so you have the power to remove him from her property.

[erinak]

Hi Jilly

I really feel for you.

As joint EPOA you and your brother need to show combined solidarity and take firm control of the situation, however uncomfortable and distressing it may be.

In the interests of all concerned, including your offending brother, as it seems he clearly is unable to deal with everyday life, by you both working in together, and being supportive, hopefully that will help you to solve this together.

Apply Tuff Love and face the fact that your offending brother may not change, but needs to see you and siblings will not accept his behaviour. So .......

"Shape-up" (Good luck with that) or "Ship-out"? I'd go with that one,

So ...get the authorities involved - the Police for starters by issuing an eviction, after all they already have his history.

I feel strongly that with your siblings support that you will find a solution and the courage to do whats right by you/siblings and your Mum too.

All the best.

[Keys]

Jilly has not decided to call back to this thread.

[FJW]

Best option would be to call the Police, if hes a threat to your safety then they would intervene.....

[erinak]

Jilly has not decided to call back to this thread.

Wow, I'm curious. How do you know that and why are you replying?

[Jilly]

Yeah, I'm here.
Just haven't had a chance to reply yet.
I want to thank you all for your suggestions. You have given me a great deal of confidence in dealing with this I have done a little further homework, contacted the lawyer and an eviction notice is going to be sent.

The relationship with this particular brother has not been good for a long time, and while he was living with Mum he got hold of her ATM card and helped himself to a substantial amount of money over the last few years. We only discovered this when the EPOA was activated. Action is quite likely going to be taken for that too. He is well known to police.

I got most of the photos and precious things out of the place fairly early on luckily, there are a few left that I wouldn't like to lose but at the end of the day they are only things.

I hadn't even thought about his possessions, I have a few ideas of where they could be shoved but I won't go into that on here.

So thanks again everyone, I will let you know how things go.

[Wayne]

So thanks again everyone, I will let you know how things go.

Deep breaths.
Not an easy situation dealing with family (you can pick your friends) - hopefully you are getting support from the other brother (and others).
Dig deep

[erinak]

Deep breaths.
Not an easy situation dealing with family (you can pick your friends) - hopefully you are getting support from the other brother (and others).
Dig deep

Yes Wayne. It is so sad that it is family but it is what it is (the circumstance/s) that makes it so damned hard to take a stance - for all involved.
My relatives have come a looong way since doing what they knew at the end of the day needed to be done, to get ahead so everyone could heal.
I hope Jilly can take comfort and support from our sharing.

Thank you.