Originally posted by Wayne
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Property agreement with defacto who has contributed zero to purchase.
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Originally posted by Bobsyouruncle View Posttotally untrue. The best relationships are often where differences exist.
Hard work for the other one, until or if they ever wise up.
I'm just going by all the people I know.
There may be the odd exception. Very odd. Ha.
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Originally posted by Bobsyouruncle View Posttotally untrue. The best relationships are often where differences exist.
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Originally posted by Wayne View PostDo you really think that is a bad thing?
The main thrust of the act was to create a more equitable outcome - usually it was the female partner who missed out on seperation as they hadn't 'contributed anything' as they were 'just the mother'.
There are always exceptions and outliers but I think it mostly works better than before the act.
And unfortunately, for people like the OP who have assets, it means having some very hard and seemingly mistrustful conversations with new partners at a time when great damage can be done to a budding relationship. How can that be a healthy thing?My blog. From personal experience.
http://statehousinginnz.wordpress.com/
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Originally posted by Wayne View PostI doubt that purchase of a joint property, in itself, triggers the act.
I do.
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Originally posted by Keys View PostDo you think that purchase of a joint property would be "a substantial contribution to the de facto relationship"?
I do.
But if you and I were to purchase a property together I doubt we would be automatically considered in a defacto relationship?
So the purchase, in itself, is not what triggers the act, it may contribute to the picture.
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Originally posted by sidinz View PostYes, it's been a very bad thing. Yes, something needed to be done about the people (usually women) who were done like a dog's dinner, but the Act has swung far too far in the opposite direction and I've read far too many horror stories of people being screwed over by leeches under it.
And unfortunately, for people like the OP who have assets, it means having some very hard and seemingly mistrustful conversations with new partners at a time when great damage can be done to a budding relationship. How can that be a healthy thing?
I am glad for myself that I was oblivious to the possibilities many years ago when I met my now wife. I had the house, she had her personality.
We got married, no pre nup, and 30 years later we are still very happy.
There are other ways to protect your assets prior to the start of a relationship and maybe that (trust maybe) would be better than bespoke options at the start of the relationship.
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Originally posted by Wayne View PostI suspect you have some personal experiance in this which is colouring your view.
Originally posted by Wayne View PostThere are other ways to protect your assets prior to the start of a relationship and maybe that (trust maybe) would be better than bespoke options at the start of the relationship.
Originally posted by Wayne View Post30 years later we are still very happy.My blog. From personal experience.
http://statehousinginnz.wordpress.com/
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Have been through this recently, 3 years before you're defacto, having a baby together does not trigger the act, was an extremely sensitive thing to go through, in the end I didn't get a property relationship agreement, it was easier to sell my house and buy a new house together where I paid a large deposit then we went 50/50 in the rest with our own home loans, a much simpler property sharing agreement is then drawn up to say the deposit gets paid back to me before any losses or gains are paid out to us equally, this obviously doesn't cover any other assets you have, vehicles etc, the excess cash I got from the sale of the house never becomes relationship property even when defacto as long as I don't ever use it for any relationship stuff, a lot harder done than said!
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financial incompatibility is often touted as the reason for relationship breakdowns... to your point some differences do drive great relationships... i.e My wife is a vegetarian, i'm a carnivore... others differences don't ... i.e. one a cash provider the other a drain on resources
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I spoke to my lawyer on this subject this morning... As I understand it you can set up the Relationship Property Agreement as you wish, either protecting only your original equity in the property, or the full equity plus any capital gain. However, the agreement must be deemed fair in the eyes of the court. If the agreement is seen as unfair, then you risk opening yourself up to the whole agreement being thrown out and you are back to square one again...
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go see a lawyer NOW
I wish I had - my partner and I have now split and he gets HALF my house. MY house. That he contributed NOTHING to. But the law is the law.
And it's so much harder to start again under the current rules.
yeah, it's all great when you are in love and life is happy and full of fluffy kittens and sweet roses. But once the shit hits the fan it's too late to protect your investment.
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Hi All
thank you for your insights on relationships. I was fundamentally asking what is a fair way to have the agreement, as in the content of it. I do know I need one. Yes I laugh about those who scoff at the sadness of it all and how their 30 year relationship is all good living with "their" money. I was one of those too. However I came out of a 20 year relationship where my husband was hiding debt to the tune of over $100,000, hadn't paid himself for over a year ("please be patient, it is getting better with the business and we will be sweet") thus living off my wages while screwing some woman behind my back. TRIFECTA! Damn right that this time I am gonna protect myself.
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Originally posted by Oopsiedaisies View PostHowever I came out of a 20 year relationship where my husband was hiding debt to the tune of over $100,000, hadn't paid himself for over a year ("please be patient, it is getting better with the business and we will be sweet") thus living off my wages while screwing some woman behind my back. TRIFECTA! Damn right that this time I am gonna protect myself.
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