• Login:
Welcome, Register Here
follow PropertyTalk on facebook follow PropertyTalk on twitter Newsletter follow PropertyTalk on LinkedIn follow PropertyTalk on facebook
Results 1 to 1 of 1


  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    High up above and deep down under

    Default BIRTH ORDERS

    Hi Guys

    From Noel Whittacker's latest newsletter"


    Your Clothes:
    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

    Preparing for the Birth:
    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
    2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

    The Layette:
    1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
    3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

    1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
    2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
    3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

    1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
    2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
    3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
    3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

    Going Out:
    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
    2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

    At Home:
    1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
    2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

    Swallowing Coins:
    1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
    2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
    3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Owner or PM on TT orders
    By Dunning in forum Tenant Stuff (NZ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-05-2017, 04:21 PM
  2. Finding Date of Birth
    By Perry in forum Finance, legal and tax (NZ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-08-2016, 10:36 PM
  3. TT orders FTT reduced
    By In need of advice in forum Tenant Stuff (NZ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-08-2013, 01:50 PM
  4. Tenant gave birth to a new baby
    By NomoneyNotalk in forum Tenant Stuff (NZ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 26-11-2012, 09:16 PM
  5. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 08-11-2012, 07:49 PM
  6. lizard Birth
    By PC in forum Forum Funnies
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 15-08-2008, 07:29 PM
  7. Attachment Orders
    By Keys in forum Tenant Stuff (NZ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-08-2008, 07:25 PM
  8. NZ Birth rate at 44-year high
    By muppet in forum General (NZ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 18-02-2008, 05:22 PM
  9. restraining orders
    By xris in forum Tenant Stuff (NZ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 15-02-2007, 09:57 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts