(1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
he was God and I didn't!
(2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
(3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
(4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
(5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
(6) Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
(7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
(8 ) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
(9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
(10) You're not a complete idiot -- But keep it up, you will be.
(11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
(12) NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
(13) God must love stupid people; He made so many.
(14) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
(15) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
(16) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
(17) Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
(18 ) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
(19) Procrastinate Now!
(20) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
(21) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
(22) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
(23) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
(24) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
(25) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
(26) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
(27) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
(28 ) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
(29) The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
he was God and I didn't!
(2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
(3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
(4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
(5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
(6) Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
(7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
(8 ) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
(9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
(10) You're not a complete idiot -- But keep it up, you will be.
(11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
(12) NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
(13) God must love stupid people; He made so many.
(14) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
(15) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
(16) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
(17) Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
(18 ) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
(19) Procrastinate Now!
(20) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
(21) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
(22) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
(23) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
(24) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
(25) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
(26) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
(27) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
(28 ) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
(29) The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
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