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Italian Boy's Confession

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  • Italian Boy's Confession

    Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
    The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
    "Yes, Father, it is."

    "And who was the woman you were with?"
    "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
    "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may
    as well tell me now.
    Was it Tina Minetti?"
    "I cannot say."

    "Was it Teresa Volpe?"
    "I'll never tell."

    "Was it Nina Capelli?"
    "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

    "Was it Cathy Piriano?"
    "My lips are sealed."

    "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
    "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

    The priest sighs in frustration.
    "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that.
    But you've sinned and have to atone.

    You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
    Now you go and behave yourself."

    Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
    whispers, "What'd you get?"

    "Four months vacation and five good leads."
    The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.