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Stupid English Language!!

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  • Stupid English Language!!

    Hey Marc, we've got to have a Funny Forum.

    Just a few thoughts about the stupidity of the English Language.

    Can you cry under water?

    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

    Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

    Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for
    your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    What did cured ham actually have?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

    Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

    Also you get into a car, but on a bus.

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

    Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

    I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose- fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

    When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

    Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

    My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

    Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

    If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour!

    Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

    Regards
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

  • #2
    "I wish I'd listened to what my father told me as a boy"

    "Why, what did he say"

    "I don't know, I wasn't listening!"

    Hitch-Hikers Guide to The Galaxy
    DFTBA

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    • #3
      Hehe...

      Nice one muppet!

      Shoudl we have a funny forum?

      Cheers

      Marc
      Free business resources - www.BusinessBlogsHub.com

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      • #4
        And why do they refer to practising and non practising catholics.
        Why do you have to practise? Is religion a sport????

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