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  • Puns

    1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
    The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

    3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.

    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

    6. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
    One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

    7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
    "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
    "Is it common?"
    "Well ... It's Not Unusual."

    9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
    The kids were nothing to look at either.

    10. Déja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    11. I tried to buy some camouflage pants the other day but couldn't find any.

    12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

    14. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    A fish.

    15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
    The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx
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