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The Ant & The Grasshopper

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  • The Ant & The Grasshopper

    The Ant & The Grasshopper

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
    and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
    summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no
    food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    THE MODERN AUSTRALIAN VERSION

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house
    and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
    summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why
    the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
    fortunate like him are cold and starving.

    The ABC and Channel 9 show up to provide live coverage of the shivering
    grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home
    with a table filled with food.

    Australians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Democrats,
    the Greens and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the
    ant's house.

    The ABC, interrupting an Aboriginal cultural festival special from North
    Queensland with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

    Bob Brown rants in an interview with Ray Martin that the ant has got rich
    off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the
    ant to make him pay his "fair share."

    In response to polls, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and
    Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retrospective to the beginning of the
    summer.

    It is quickly passed through the Senate.

    The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire
    grasshoppers as helpers.

    Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed
    retrospective taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    The ant moves to Asia, and starts a successful agribiz company.

    The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
    the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government
    owned house he is in, which just happens to be
    The ant's old house crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.

    Inadequate government funding is blamed, Kim Beasley now is appointed to
    head a commission of inquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Sydney Morning Herald
    blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
    despair arising from social inequity.

    The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by
    the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity, who
    promptly terrorize the community
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx
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