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The Art of Being Politically Correct

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  • The Art of Being Politically Correct

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT A WOMAN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
    1. She is not "Easy" - she is "Horizontally Accessible."
    2 . She is not a "Screamer" or a "Moaner" - she is "Vocally Appreciative."
    3. She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - she is a "Light-haired detour off the information Super Highway."
    4. She has not "Been Around" - she is a "Previously-enjoyed companion."
    5. She is not an "Airhead" - she is "Reality Impaired."
    6. She does not get "Drunk" or "Sloshed" - she gets "Chemically Inconvenienced."
    7. She does not have "Breast Implants" - she is "Medically Enhanced."
    8. She does not "Nag" you - she becomes "Verbally Repetitive."
    9. She is not a "Tramp" - she is "Sexually Extroverted."
    10. She is not a "Two-bit Hooker" - she is a "Low-Cost Provider."

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT A MAN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
    1. He does not have a "Beer Gut" - he has developed a "Liquid Storage Facility."
    2. He does not "Get Lost All The Time" -he "Investigates Alternative Routes."
    3. He is not "Balding" - he is in "Follicle Regression."
    4. He is not a "Cradle Robber" - he just prefers "Generational Preferential Relationships."
    5. He does not get "Falling Down Drunk" - he becomes Unexpectedly Horizontal."
    6. He does not act like a "Total Ass" - he develops a case of "Rectal-Cranial Inversion."
    7. He is not a "Male Chauvinist Pig" - he has "Swine Empathy."
    8. He is not "Afraid of Commitment" - he is "Relationship Challenged."
    9. He is not "Horny" - he is "Sexually Focused."
    10. It's not his "Cheeks" you see when he bends over - it's his "Rear Cleavage."
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx
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