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You Might Be A Landlord If……………

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  • You Might Be A Landlord If……………

    taken from a website

    YOU HAVE THE PATIENCE OF FIVE PEOPLE

    YOU BELIEVE THAT 25% OF TENANTS ARE A WASTE OF PROTOPLASM

    YOUR IDEA OF GOOD TIMING IS A DEADBEAT MOVING BEFORE THE COURT DATE

    YOU LOOK FOR A WITNESS ANYTIME A TENANT IS FRIENDLY TOWARD YOU

    YOU THINK IT IS NORMAL TO DISCUSS ROACH INFESTATION OVER A GOURMET MEAL.

    YOU CAN IDENTIFY A NEGATIVE “TOOTH-TO-TATTOO” RATIO JUST BY LOOKING AT AN APPLICANT

    YOU FIND HUMOR IN OTHER PEOPLE’S STUPIDITY

    YOU BELIEVE IN AERIAL SPRAYING OF DIAZINON

    YOU DISBELIEVE 90% OF WHAT YOU HEAR AND 75% OF WHAT YOU SEE

    YOU PLAN YOUR WEEKENDS OFF TWO HOURS IN ADVANCE

    YOU BELIEVE THAT ‘SHALLOW GENE POOL’ SHOULD BE GROUNDS FOR EVICTION

    YOU BELIEVE THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD REQUIRE A PERMIT TO REPRODUCE

    YOU BELIEVE THAT UNSPEAKABLE EVILS WILL BEFALL YOU IF A TENANT SAYS, “BOY, SURE IS QUIET AROUND HERE.”

    YOU BELIEVE THAT ‘FAST FOOD’ IS A FOOD GROUP

    YOU TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A ‘PRICK’

    YOU HAVE PUT A TENANT ON HOLD WHILE YOU LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY

    YOU HAVE WANTED A TERRORIST TO DELIVER A RYDER TRUCK TO A CERTAIN APARTMENT

    YOU BELIEVE THE COURT SYSTEM IS POSSESSED

    YOU THINK CAFFEINE SHOULD BE AVAILABLE IN I.V. FORM

    YOU ARE NOT REFERRING TO FOOD WHEN YOU MENTION VEGETABLES

    YOU BELIEVE SOME APARTMENTS SHOULD COME EQUIPPED WITH A VALIUM SALTLICK

    YOU HAVE HEARD THE PHRASE “I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT GOT BROKEN” ON MORE THAN A FEW OCCASSIONS

    YOU IMMEDIATELY CORRELATE AN UNKNOWN CAR WITH AN UNAUTHORIZED OCCUPANT

    YOU HAVE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT PARANOIA SIMPLY BY SITTING IN YOUR CAR OUTSIDE OF A PROPERTY

    YOU BELIEVE IT IS A ‘GOOD’ EVICTION ONLY IF THE TENANT IS COLLECTIBLE

    YOU BELIEVE THAT ‘TOO STUPID TO LIVE’ SHOULD BE A VALID REASON TO REJECT AN APPLICANT
    If I have seen further than others,
    it is because I have stood on the shoulder of giants. Isaac Newton
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