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Real Estate jargon

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  • Real Estate jargon

    A little light reading from my latest newsletter

    Real estate advertising jargon


    As is ~ There's something horribly wrong with the house, but you'll have to figure out what it is on your own

    Very desirable ~ Expensive

    Central location ~ On the corner of the two busiest streets in town

    Close to all amenities ~ Between a school and a panelbeater

    Rare find ~ Very expensive

    Handy-man special ~ Will need months of work to be livable

    Needs a little TLC ~ Similar to a handy man special only run down

    Solid ~ Still standing

    Neat and tidy ~ Ugly, but clean

    Older ~ Methuselah would like his glasses back if you happen to find them

    Great value ~ Small

    Cute and cozy ~ Very small

    Very cozy ~ Ridiculously small

    Spacious ~ Fractionally bigger than "great value"

    Unique ~ Hideous

    Affordable ~ Because it's in a bad neighbourhood

    Tastefully decorated ~ The previous owner is leaving all his junk behind

    Charming ~ It looks like your grandma's place

    Freshly painted ~ "Nipple Pink" was on sale last week

    Classic ~ It has four walls, a roof, and at least one intact door

    Heritage ~ Haunted

    One of a kind ~ Looks like Castle Greyskull from the He-Man cartoons

    Very private ~ You'll need an ATV to get down the lane

    Country living ~ No one in their right mind would want to live this far out of town

    Investors dream ~ Tenants from hell

    Great Yield ~ As agents don't know what yield is this could mean anything.

    Won't last long ~ Been on the marker forever
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