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This explains everything -who needs economics!

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  • This explains everything -who needs economics!



    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbor.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law
    at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has died.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. >>
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
    You eat both of them.
    The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
    The IMF loans you two cows.
    You eat both of them.
    The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
    You are out getting a haircut

  • #2
    In this case Socialism comes out as very humane.
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    • #3
      socialism is very humane

      it's such a pity it's an unsustainable system brought down by the base human instincts of greed and laziness

      and that socialists are too short sighted to see that

      ie

      you have 2 cows

      you give 1 to your neighbor

      now you have 1 cow each

      you work your fields, eat your vegetables, tend your cow and drink it's milk

      he eats his cow

      now there is only 1 cow

      and he wants half

      so you kill your cow cut it up and give half to him

      for a short time you have steak with your vegetables

      he just has steak

      no one has milk

      so soon enough he's run out of steak and wants some of yours

      you can see where this is leading

      you working your butt off to support his lazy ass

      so 1 night you slip away to a new village

      where they don't practice socialism

      at least that's been the experience

      of any society that continues to take from the worker

      and give to the non-worker

      Last edited by eri; 27-01-2013, 12:01 AM.
      have you defeated them?
      your demons

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      • #4
        The only flaw I see is with this part of the hypothesis:
        you have 2 cows
        you give 1 to your neighbor
        now you have 1 cow each
        . . . is that the 'giving' of the cow would not be.
        The socialists would forcibly take it off the two-
        cow man and give it to his neighbour.
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        • #5
          I couldn't stop laughing at the Greek cow owners! Too funny!
          Last edited by Perry; 05-03-2013, 08:15 AM.

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