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One liners...

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  • One liners...

    Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?
    All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

    Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action.
    So I sent her my ironing. That'll keep the lazy cow busy.

    I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
    Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

    After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
    That's when he realised that he had made it home safely.

    Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year".
    Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

    My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

    Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window.
    If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

    After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. NOTHING !!!

    A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing the part of a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."
    The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.

  • #2
    Needed a laugh today!