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How to get to Heaven from Scotland ...

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  • How to get to Heaven from Scotland ...

    I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday
    school class to see if they understood the
    concept of getting into heaven.

    I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
    car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
    money to the church, would that get me
    into heaven?"
    "NO!" the children answered.
    "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
    the garden and kept everything tidy, would
    that get me into heaven?"
    Again, the answer was 'No!'

    By now I was starting to smile.
    "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
    gave sweeties to all the children, and
    loved my husband, would that get me
    into heaven?"
    Again, they all answered 'No!'
    I was just bursting with pride for them.
    I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
    A six year old boy shouted,

    "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead"

    Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...
    The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.
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