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  • Tiger

    Heard tell that Tiger is changing his name to Cheeta.
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

  • #2
    The latest " Tiger Woods Family Portrait "

    The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.

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    • #3
      Apparently he ask his sponsors prior to having the affair as he thought it could have negative implications.

      The response from Nike: " Just do it"
      Gillette was more dubious and asked him whether she was "the best a man can get".
      Last edited by CJ; 04-12-2009, 11:30 AM.

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      • #4
        found a couple more.....

        Most sports advocates believe Tiger Woods' incident with his wife will actually improve his golf game.

        "...Let's face it; when you get hit in the head with a seven iron, you are going to see a lot of birdies...."
        =============

        What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

        Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball for 400+ yards
        ===========


        Cheers,

        Donna
        SEARCH PropertyTalk, About PropertyTalk

        BusinessBlogs - the best business articles are found here

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        • #5
          i see the cheeta name has stuck and now even the newspapers are using it
          have you defeated them?
          your demons

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          • #6
            Tiger(Cheeta) keeps scoring more birdies.
            http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/s...77-954,00.html
            "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

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            • #7
              "Crouching Tiger, hidden hydrant"

              What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

              That’s the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards

              Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree ... he couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
              Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver

              I find it's a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can't see the Woods for the trees.

              Tiger's wife went for him after he scored a birdie.

              What was the second worst part of Tiger's car accident? The police found the driver in the trunk.

              What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

              What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.


              In Weekend Update, anchor Seth Meyers peppered Woods with one-liners.
              "Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out," he said.

              Meyers noted that Woods and his wife were in negotiations over their prenuptial agreement, and "what's really weird is he presented her with one of those huge, oversized checks" typically given to golf tournament winners.

              Woods' sponsors are sticking with him, Meyers said, "a gesture that only means one thing - women don't watch golf."
              Last edited by PC; 08-12-2009, 07:25 AM.
              The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.

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              • #8
                After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.
                After winning just about everything, Tiger has finally lost his drive!
                Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
                Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he's ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.
                Confucius say, “Cheetah Down Under puts Tiger in deep Woods.”
                Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
                He may be a Tiger in the woods, but is a cub who is clubbed at home.
                Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?
                Q: What club did Elin use to “rescue” her husband? A: A bitching wedge.
                Seen the latest Chinese movie about Tiger Wood's crash, called “Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger”?

                This year's adult pantomime: “Woods in the Babes.”
                Tiger aced the hole on the 2nd.
                Tiger would have done much better by hitting a birdie.
                Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
                Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
                Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
                Tiger's new nickname 'Cheetah' is still in the cat family.
                Triple-Bogey for Tiger Woods: “I Love You!”, “I Love You!”, and “I Love You!”
                Q: What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? A: They're both clubbed by Norwegians.

                "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

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                • #9
                  Tiger scores an eleven.
                  Wow, when was the last time Tiger scored an eleven?
                  He is going to have to work very hard to make a comeback now.
                  "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by muppet View Post
                    Tiger scores an eleven.
                    Wow, when was the last time Tiger scored an eleven?
                    He is going to have to work very hard to make a comeback now.
                    When the ninth girl he has romoured to be with was found out to be a porn star, there were rumours he had scored a hole in one on the front and the back nine.

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                    • #11
                      Checkout Face Book - Tiger Wood-Me under search this is hilarious

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                      • #12
                        It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her
                        grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because
                        there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.

                        The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and
                        correctly
                        can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to
                        get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

                        The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before
                        Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher
                        said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. Susie answered
                        first.

                        The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open
                        his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's
                        right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. Mary
                        answered
                        first.

                        The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for
                        you'?"
                        Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The
                        teacher said, "That's right Nancy . You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD.
                        Nancy answered first.

                        Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches
                        would keep their mouths shut".

                        The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"

                        Johnny said, "TIGER WOODS! CAN I GO NOW?"
                        The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.

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