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Blonde Jokes

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  • Blonde Jokes

    Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
    A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

    Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
    A: Space. The final frontier..........

    Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
    A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.

    Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?
    A: Cos they've no idea of the route.

    Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes Twinkle?
    A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.

    Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
    A: Got stuck in a hunter's trap, chewed off it's 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.

    Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
    A: E-I-E-I-O.

    Q: How do you measure their intelligence?
    A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.

    It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle.
    She tried putting batteries in it.

    To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides.

    Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
    A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

    Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
    A: Frosted Flakes.

    Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
    A: The Branch Manager.

    Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
    A: Proof-reading.

    Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
    A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

    Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
    A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.

    It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.

    Q: What's brown, red, black and blue?
    A: A Brunette who's been tellin one too many blonde jokes.

    NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.

    Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
    A: She couldn't find the recipe.
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx