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  • Drive-by ATM Procedure

    Male vs. Female at the new drive-by ATM machine

    A new sign in the bank lobby reads:

    'Please note that this bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

    After months of careful research, male & female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

    ************
    MALE PROCEDURE:
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.

    ************
    FEMALE PROCEDURE:
    What is really funny is that most of this part is likely to be true!
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Apply hand brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine...
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of cheque book.
    18. Re-check make-up.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Redial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 kms.
    27. Release hand brake.

    Send this to a man who needs a laugh, and to the ladies who can handle it.... they need a laugh, too!
    Last edited by Perry; 22-09-2009, 09:58 PM.
    Want a great looking concrete swimming pool in Hawke's Bay? Designer Pools will do the job for you!

  • #2
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
    But wasn't the handbag emptied onto the passenger seat?

    Ah yes, so it was.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    Nothing about contents being returned to the handbag.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    Again nothing about the contents being returned to the handbag.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    Who the heck wrote this?????????
    Last edited by muppet; 22-09-2009, 10:04 PM.
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

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    • #3
      Muppet you're such a bloke :-)

      Comment


      • #4
        Certain related items were omitted
        for the sake of brevity (perhaps?)

        Compare 4 to 10
        Want a great looking concrete swimming pool in Hawke's Bay? Designer Pools will do the job for you!

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        • #5
          We chuck the stuff back in without thinking about it

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          • #6
            Who the heck wrote this?????????
            My guess - a man.
            Patience is a virtue.

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            • #7
              Muppet was not allowing for multi-tasking, eh?
              Want a great looking concrete swimming pool in Hawke's Bay? Designer Pools will do the job for you!

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              • #8
                Well it made me laugh. A lot.
                Jo Birch
                Looking for someone to manage your next project or event? Then call now!
                +61 450 148 678

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