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Tokoroa Storm Damage Appeal

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  • Tokoroa Storm Damage Appeal

    Tokoroa Storm Damage Appeal

    Massive storms hit Tokoroa in the late hours of 21 April 2009.
    Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering
    'Faaackinell.' The storms devastated the area, causing approx-
    imately $30 worth of damage. Three areas of historic burnt-
    out car wrecks were disturbed.

    Many locals were woken well before their WINZ cheques
    arrived. The South Waikato News reported that hundreds of
    residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying
    to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
    happened in Tokoroa.

    One resident - Tina Ngahuria Kauwhakahaere Aroha Kowhenua
    Smith Brown, a 15-year-old mother of 3 said 'It was such a shock,
    my little girls Chardonnay and Crystal-Meth came running into
    my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Dunhill and Jack Daniels,
    slept through it all.'

    Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected
    and carried on as normal. The New Zealand Red Cross has so
    far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Waikato Bitter to the area
    to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching
    through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal
    belongings, including Community Services Cards, jewellery
    from The Warehouse, and Bone China from Countdown.


    This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
    those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
    Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
    flannelette shirts, Fubu jeans and puffer jackets, bandanas
    (blue in colour, definitely NOT red) jandals and any other
    items usually sold in South Auckland markets.

    Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all
    the same. Required foodstuffs urgently needed include:
    fish and chips, KFC, baked beans, ice cream, chippies,
    fizzy drinks.

    Donations of $22.00 will be used to buy a packet of Port
    Royal 30 grams and a lighter, to help calm the nerves of
    those most affected.

    **Late Breaking news**

    Tokoroa's local Church has cancelled their local 'Nativity
    Display' due to their inability to find three wise men or
    a virgin.

    Please don't forward this to anyone living in Tokoroa.
    Oh, stuff it! They won't be able to read it, anyway!
    After all, they can't even keep count of their children.

  • #2
    Perry, are you sure it is Tokoroa you are rambling on about and not Otara, or Maraenui or Flaxmere, or Wairoa or Kawerau or Nawton or Fordlands or where ever.
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx


    • #3
      Actually Perry, this was originally posted here:
      Make us laugh, post something that relieves the stresses of being a property investor.
      "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx


      • #4
        Well, Muppet, you know how slow I can be . . .


        • #5
          That's because of those square wheels on your trike.
          "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx


          • #6
            Must play havoc on your paper round
            Premium Villa Holidays in Turkey


            • #7
              Looks like a similar event hit in England too.
              Last edited by Perry; 24-06-2009, 12:29 AM. Reason: fixed typo
              The Son of Glenn