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Men and Women compared

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  • Men and Women compared

    Men and Women compared

    1. Nicknames
    If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

    If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionally refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

    2. Eating Out
    When the bill arrives Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20 even though it's for only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    3. Money
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

    4. Bathrooms
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothpaste, a toothbrush, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    A man would not be able to identify most of the items.

    5. Arguments
    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    6. Cats
    Women love cats.

    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men tease cats.

    7. Future
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    8. Success
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx