When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached
her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women - one of them was
your wife - Yes, I know him.'

The defence attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice, said 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair."