When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached
her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence
attorney?"

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women - one of them was
your wife - Yes, I know him.'

The defence attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice, said 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair."