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When Grandma Goes To Court

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  • When Grandma Goes To Court

    When Grandma Goes To Court

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
    aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
    witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached
    her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

    She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
    you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
    disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
    manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
    you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never
    amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
    you."

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
    across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence
    attorney?"

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
    was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
    problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his
    law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
    cheated on his wife with three different women - one of them was
    your wife - Yes, I know him.'

    The defence attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very
    quiet voice, said 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
    send you both to the electric chair."
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