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When Grandma Goes To Court

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  • When Grandma Goes To Court

    When Grandma Goes To Court

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
    aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
    witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached
    her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

    She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
    you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
    disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
    manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
    you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never
    amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
    across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
    was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
    problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his
    law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
    cheated on his wife with three different women - one of them was
    your wife - Yes, I know him.'

    The defence attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very
    quiet voice, said 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
    send you both to the electric chair."