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You know you're Australian if....
You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk
You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin
You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds
You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional
You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep
You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'
You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin
You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis
You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them
You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite
You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle
Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket
You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'
When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit
When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer
You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.