Header Ad Module



No announcement yet.

Smart arsed answers 2007....

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Smart arsed answers 2007....

    6th Place

    It was mealtime during a flight on

    a British Airways plane:

    'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant

    asked the man seated in the front row.

    'What are my choices?' the man asked.

    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    5th Place

    A flight attendant was stationed at the

    departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her

    hand for the ticket and he opened his

    trench coat and flashed her.

    Without blinking an eyelid she said,

    'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

    4th Place

    A lady was picking through the frozen

    turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she

    couldn't find one big enough for her family.

    She asked a passing assistant,

    'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

    The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid not,

    they're dead.'

    3rd Place

    The policeman got out of his car and

    approached the boy racer he stopped

    for speeding.

    'I've been waiting for you all day,'

    the bobby said.

    The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here

    as fast as I could.'

    When the policeman finally stopped

    laughing, he sent the kid on his way

    without a ticket.

    2nd Place

    A lorry driver was driving along on

    a country road.

    A sign came up that read 'Low Bridge Ahead.'

    Before he realised it, the bridge was

    directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

    Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up.

    The policeman got out of his car and

    walked to the lorry's cab

    And said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?'

    The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out


    A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded

    her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

    'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate

    any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

    I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
    or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

    excuses whatsoever!'

    A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room

    raised his hand and asked,

    'What would happen if I came in

    tomorrow suffering from complete

    and utter sexual exhaustion?'

    The entire class was reduced to

    laughter and sniggering.

    When silence was restored, the teacher

    smiled knowingly at the student, shook

    her head and sweetly said,

    'Well, I suppose you'd have to write

    with your other hand'.