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Minor Mental Lapses...

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  • Minor Mental Lapses...

    (1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
    he was God and I didn't!
    (2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    (3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
    (4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    (5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    (6) Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    (7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
    (8 ) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    (9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    (10) You're not a complete idiot -- But keep it up, you will be.
    (11) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    (12) NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
    (13) God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    (14) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    (15) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    (16) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    (17) Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
    (18 ) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    (19) Procrastinate Now!
    (20) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    (21) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    (22) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
    (23) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
    (24) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    (25) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
    (26) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
    (27) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
    (28 ) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    (29) The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
    Last edited by SuperDad; 18-08-2008, 10:26 AM. Reason: Changed formatting to remove emoticons

  • #2
    esp. #24
    DFTBA

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    • #3
      dangerous ground cube, dangerous ground

      I liked #20
      Charging enough rent?
      NZ Scams to Avoid
      Add a sleepout to your rental property

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