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Washington Post's Mensa Invitational...

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  • Washington Post's Mensa Invitational...

    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
    take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
    changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are this year's winners:

    1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
    realize it was your money to start with.

    2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
    bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
    little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
    getting laid.

    5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
    subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

    6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
    who doesn't get it.

    8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

    10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

    11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
    really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
    like, a serious bummer.

    12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
    consuming only things that are good for you.

    13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
    they come at you rapidly.

    15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
    you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
    bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
    the fruit you're eating.

    And the pick of the literature:

    18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
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