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North Shore Storm Report

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  • North Shore Storm Report

    The major storm that hit the North Shore this week left residents
    reeling in its wake. Strong winds cut power to a number of areas, leaving householders baffled. One man was seen carrying his plasma screen up The street looking for somewhere to plug it in.

    Others suffered horrific losses. "I've driven from Milford to Rothesey
    Bay and I can't find a soy latte anywhere," sobbed a distraught woman.

    Phone lines to landscape gardeners were clogged by anxious callers
    needing immediate assistance. "My Pacific fusion courtyard has been
    filled with my neighbour's California succulents - what should I do?"
    Property owners Are being advised to stay calm and read
    landscaping magazines until help arrives.

    The storm damage has left some residents philosophical. 'It was about
    time I changed my garden art," said one Devonport man. 'With my
    insurance payout I'll be able to get the very latest in limestone
    geometric figures while My neighbours are still stuck with their
    out-dated stainless steel sculptures. It's an ill wind, eh?"

    Many drivers are finding their 4 wheel drive vehicles invaluable in
    the trying conditions. One man admitted he had driven right over
    workers clearing fallen trees from the road and had hardly felt a thing.

    Rescue organisations have been quick to respond to the

    A Starbucks tanker is calling on housebound residents, and catering
    companies are rushing spit-roasting equipment to the area to
    provide hot venison paninis for those in need. Mobile cell-phone
    charging trucks will be on hand over the next few days until full power
    is restored.

    Those outside Auckland who wish to help are encouraged to send
    gift vouchers for Hermes or Louis Vuitton, to speed the healing process
    through retail therapy. Or you can phone 0900 3RDWORLD to make a
    tax-deductible$500 donation. Please - these people need help. Really.

  • #2
    Jo Birch
    Looking for someone to manage your next project or event? Then call now!
    +61 450 148 678


    • #3
      Awesome! Funniest thing in a long while.

      Squadly dinky do!