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21 Economic Models Explained With Cows

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  • 21 Economic Models Explained With Cows

    21 ECONOMIC MODELS EXPLAINED WITH COWS

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milkaway...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters ofcredit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
    then execute a debt/equityswap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows aretransferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned bythe majority
    shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to yourlisted company. The annual report says the company owns
    eight cows, with anoption on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the UnitedStates, leaving you
    with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you wantthree cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
    produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon imagecalled 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows.
    None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade yourcountry.
    You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive...
    The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.

  • #2
    Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      a polyamorous corporation

      You have 2 cows!!!!
      Your mates think your a legend.

      Comment


      • #4
        I loved the Enron one!

        BLUECHIP CORPORATION:
        You have two cows

        You sell another farmer's cows to some older people. You tell them their deposit is in a solcitor's trust account and insured by Lloyds. It isn't and you use the money to buy a golf course. You graze 1 of your cows there.

        You also tell these people they'll never have to actually pay for the whole cow as the cow market always goes up and they'll be worth double in 2 years. You therefore increase the size of your portfolio under management by 4 cows for every purchaser.

        Your staff are working very hard, based on the 1 cow you promise to give them for every ten 'virtual' cows they sell. You never give them any cows but promise they are coming and your staff work harder.

        You default on your lease, all other agreements, leaving your business partners and staff to carry the can and bugger off to 'greener pastures' being Aussie with your 70 million cows you now 'own'. You smile a lot as you're very happy and can't see what all the fuss is about.

        You sell some Aussie farmers cows to some older people...
        Squadly dinky do!

        Comment


        • #5
          BLUECHIP CORPORATION:
          You sell the same non-existant cow to two pensioners who eventually discover all they bought was bull.
          You can find me at: Energise Web Design

          Comment


          • #6
            Equiticorp
            You sell the same non-existent bull to two pensioners who eventually discover all they bought was a bear.
            DFTBA

            Comment


            • #7
              An RM corporation
              You have 2 cows, call one a college and sell it to people wanting an education and don't mind paying the equivalent of 100 cows for it whilst the other cow is not really a cow its just a copy of someone elses cow.

              Comment

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