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Gonna Be a Bear

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  • Gonna Be a Bear

    In this life I'm a woman.
    In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
    When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
    You do nothing but sleep for six months.
    I could deal with that.

    Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
    I could deal with that too.

    When you are a girl bear, you birth your children(who are the size of walnuts)
    while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.
    I could definitely deal with that.

    If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
    You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
    If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
    I could deal with that.

    If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
    He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

    Yup, gonna be a bear.
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx