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Dave the hen.

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  • Green Fish
    "He gave her a peck on the cheek ..."

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  • Glen
    started a topic Dave the hen.

    Dave the hen.

    Dave the hen

    Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
    drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
    already asleep.

    He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he
    found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the hell are
    you?', demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'

    The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.'

    Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much
    to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . .. You've got
    to send me back straight away.'

    St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
    We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

    Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
    house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

    A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
    around, pecking the ground.

    'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling
    welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,
    'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'

    'It's not so bad', replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling
    inside like I'm about to explode.'

    'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never
    laid an egg before.'

    'Never', replies Dave.

    'Well just relax and let it happen'.

    And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
    out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
    and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood
    for the first time.

    When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
    and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
    ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

    The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
    felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife

    'Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You've s**t the bed !!'