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The chemistry of Hell...

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  • The chemistry of Hell...

    Clever hypothesis




    HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT



    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

    The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
    which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
    when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:


    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
    souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
    once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
    are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
    there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
    project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
    souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
    Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
    Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
    pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
    pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day
    in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
    then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The

    consequence of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
    more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+!

  • #2
    Afraid despite being nice this is an urban legend like the old one about the philosophy exam with the question why? And the student writes why not? and walks out to get an A+

    Cheers
    David
    New to property investing? See: Best PropertyTalk Threads for New and Old Investors And/Or:Propertytalk Wiki

    Comment


    • #3
      The Lost Art of Handwriting

      On the subject of 3-hour exams, has anyone in the tertiary education sector noticed anything about the decipherability of the scripts? I'm finding, in late middle-age, that I can barely manage to scrawl out the dollar amount in words on a cheque. This might be due to creeping MS, or it might be due to the fact that that we have all become typists.

      Comment


      • #4
        GF M8 wot r u talkin bout....

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Green Fish View Post
          On the subject of 3-hour exams, has anyone in the tertiary education sector noticed anything about the decipherability of the scripts? I'm finding, in late middle-age, that I can barely manage to scrawl out the dollar amount in words on a cheque. This might be due to creeping MS, or it might be due to the fact that that we have all become typists.
          Well I guess this is one for me. I hate marking exams in part because scripts are often hard to decipher it isn't unusual to only be able to be sure about every second word and to have to work out other words from the context of the sentence. No idea whether this is related to the use of new technologies, I'm inclined to think exam scripts have always been pretty poor.

          Cheers
          David
          New to property investing? See: Best PropertyTalk Threads for New and Old Investors And/Or:Propertytalk Wiki

          Comment

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