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One liners.

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  • One liners.

    Hi Guys

    From Noel's latest newsletter:

    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

    On a Septic Tank Truck in Sunshine Coast Area:
    "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

    On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
    "We're #1 in the #2 business."

    Sign over! a Gynaecologist's Office:
    "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

    At a Proctologist's door
    "To expedite your visit please back in."

    On a Plumber's truck:
    "We repair what your husband fixed."

    On a Plumber's truck:
    "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber...."

    Pizza Shop Slogan:
    "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

    At a Tyre Shop in Queensland:
    "Invite us to your next blow-out."

    On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
    "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

    At a Towing company:
    "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

    On an Electrician's truck:
    "Let us remove your shorts."

    In a Non-smoking Area:
    "If we see smoke, we will assume you! are on fire and take appropriate action."

    On a Maternity Room door:
    "Push. Push. Push."

    At an Optometrist's Office
    "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right

    On a Taxidermist's window:
    "We really know our stuff."

    In a Podiatrist's office:
    "Time wounds all heels."

    On a Fence:
    "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

    At a Car Dealership:
    "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

    At the Electric Company:
    "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
    However, if you don't, you will be."

    In a Restaurant window:
    "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

    At a Propane Filling Station,
    "Thank heaven for little grills."

    And don't forget the sign at a Brisbane Radiator Shop:
    "Best place in town to take a leak."

    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx