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Here is your Sign...

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  • Here is your Sign...

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
    Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
    Contestant: Homosexuals.
    Paxman: No. They're nicknames for regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

    BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
    Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
    Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
    Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
    Contestant: Leicester.

    BBC NORFOLK
    Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
    Contestant: Arm.
    White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
    Contestant: Strong.
    White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
    Contestant: Louis.
    White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

    LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
    Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
    Contestant: France.
    Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
    Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
    Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question.
    In which country is the Parthenon?
    Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
    Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
    Contestant: Paris.

    THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
    Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what - Prison or the Conservative Party?
    Contestant: The Conservative Party.

    BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
    DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
    Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
    Contestant: Goosey?

    GWR FM (Bristol)
    Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
    Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

    RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
    Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners:
    Last Of The ...?
    Caller: Mohicans.

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
    Phil: What's 11 squared?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
    Contestant: Is it five?

    RICHARD AND JUDY
    Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
    A: Forrest Gump.

    RICHARD AND JUDY
    Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
    Contestant: Er .....
    Leslie: He makes bread.
    Contestant: Er .....
    Leslie: He makes cakes.
    Contestant: Kipling Street?

    LINCS FM PHONE-IN
    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona.
    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

    NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
    Question: What is the world's largest continent?
    Contestant: The Pacific

    ROCK FM (PRESTON)
    Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
    Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
    Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
    Contestant: Magna Carta?

    JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
    O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
    Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .... er.... er.... three?

    CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
    Caller: Japan.
    Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    Caller: Er .... Mexico?

    PAUL WAPPAT(BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after a long pause): Fourteen days.

    DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVE TIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland?
    Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
    Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
    Contestant: No.

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
    Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    Contestant: Er .....
    Wood: It's got two syllables ..... Kor ....
    Contestant: Blimey!
    Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run.
    Contestant: ..... (silence)
    Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I .....?
    Contestant: Walked?

    THE VAULT
    Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
    Contestant: Nostalgia.

    LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
    Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
    Contestant: Jewish.
    Presenter: That's close enough.

    STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
    Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
    Contestant: Jesus.
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