Header Ad Module



No announcement yet.

Words of Wisdom

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Words of Wisdom

    Hi Guys

    Some words of wisdom from Noel Whitacker's latest newsletter:

    - I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.
    - I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
    - I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
    - I am nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
    - How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
    - Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
    - Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
    - Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
    - A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be
    sitting next to you saying, 'Damn...that was fun!'
    - I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
    - When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
    - The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.
    - Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
    - Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?
    - Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
    - My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that’s what he said).
    - Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
    - If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!
    - Wouldn’t you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx