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Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

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  • Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

    Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    Costello: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking >about buying a computer.

    Abbott: Mac?

    Costello: No, the name’s Lou.

    Abbott: Your computer?

    Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

    Abbott: Mac?

    Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou.

    Abbott: What about Windows?

    Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    Abbott: Wallpaper.

    Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    Abbott: Software for Windows?

    Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write >proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    Abbott: Office.

    Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    Abbott: I just did.

    Costello: You just did what?

    Abbott: Recommend something.

    Costello: You recommended something?

    Abbott: Yes.

    Costello: For my office?

    Abbott: Yes.

    Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    Abbott: Office.

    Costello: Yes, for my office!

    Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.

    Costello: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m >sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    Abbott: Word.

    Costello: What word?

    Abbott: Word in Office.

    Costello: The only word in office is office.

    Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.

    Costello: Which word in office for windows?

    Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

    Costello: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some >straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I >can track my money with?

    Abbott: Money.

    Costello: That’s right. What do you have?

    Abbott: Money.

    Costello: I need money to track my money?

    Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer.

    Costello: What’s bundled with my computer?

    Abbott: Money.

    Costello: Money comes with my computer?

    Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.

    Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    Abbott: One copy.

    Costello: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

    Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?

    Abbott: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    Costello: How do I turn my computer off?

    Abbott: Click on “START”.............
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx

  • #2
    One of my childrens raised this point when he was around 5 or 6 also.

    Daddy why do I have to press start to turn computer off?

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