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Oh Dear!

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  • Oh Dear!

    Hi Guys

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

    Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

    Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    Regards
    "There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook." Groucho Marx
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