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Ladies Man

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  • Ladies Man

    Wife: What are you doing?

    Husband : Nothing.

    Wife : Nothing ...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour !

    Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wife : Do you want dinner?

    Husband : Sure ! What are my choices ?

    Wife : Yes and no.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why ?

    Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
    I look at your picture, and the problem disappears.

    Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you ?

    Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself ---
    what other problem can be greater than this one ?
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your
    worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

    Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.

    Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet !
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,
    he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

    Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

    Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    A newly married man asked his wife
    " Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune ? "
    "Honey," the woman replied sweetly,
    " I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE ! "
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

    The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    A wife asked her husband:
    What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?

    He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
    I like your sense of humor.
    The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and a monthly salary - Fred Wilson.
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