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Major Earthquake Rocks Otara

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  • Major Earthquake Rocks Otara

    A major earthquake, measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit in The early hours of Monday morning in Otara, Auckland.

    News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 unchipped Dobermans, as victims were seen wandering around Aimlessly muttering "fookinhell" and "orsumbro".

    The earthquake decimated the town, causing $30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from McDonalds and The Otahuhu station car park were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed.

    Many locals were woken well before their benefit money arrived.

    Radio Manukau reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that Something interesting happened in Otara.

    One resident, 15 year old mother of three, Tala-Tala
    Boum-te-Aiee, said "I was still shaking when I was watching Oprah the next day."

    Locals were determined to carry on business as usual. Lootings, Muggings and car crime still took place.

    So far the Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 cartons of Lion Red to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals.

    Rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large Quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from The Warehouse and bone China from the $2 shop.

    CAN YOU HELP??????

    Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing For the victims of this disaster.

    Clothing is needed most of all - especially:

    *Baseball caps

    *Hoodies

    *Tracksuit tops (his or hers)

    *White sport socks

    *Nike shoes or white gumboots


    Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, But your efforts will make a difference. Microwave meals, baked beans, Chippies, ice cream and cans of Mountain Dew or V are ideal. Please do Not give anything that needs peeling.

    Remember:

    *45 cents buys a bic clic ballpoint for filling in compensation Claims

    *$4 buys chips, chicken nuggets and a blue fizzy drink for a Family of 9

    *$10 will pay for a packet of Rothmans and a lighter to calm a Child's' nerves.

    Urgently required: tinned dog food for pit bulls.

    Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such flash Housing will cause discontent in the nearby West Auckland communities
    DFTBA

  • #2
    I laughing soooo hard, and feel a bit bad for doing so.

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    • #3
      Fabulous. Cheered my day up no end. I got a similar one a wee while ago with references to Sunderland (in the North East of England)
      I didn't feel bad about laughing....
      Jo Birch
      Looking for someone to manage your next project or event? Then call now!
      +61 450 148 678

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